I’m Sorry, I Actually Cannot Endure Another Couples Massage

As a wife, I tend to make lots of little sacrifices for the sake of my marriage: Getting Thai takeout when I’m actually in the mood for Indian, being a plus-one at events where I don’t know anyone but my husband, going to his parents’ house for Thanksgiving because we’re doing Christmas with my family—you get the picture. But the one I struggle the most to get behind? My absolute least favorite couples activity? The one I’ve been putting up with for years (!!) without so much as a single peep? Couples massages. Let me explain.

First and foremost, I am well aware

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