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    Maternal Intelligence: An Open Letter

    I have been working in Maternal Intelligence for the past eighteen years, because of a profound belief that, with care and attention, human offspring can grow to accomplish important things—such as curing diseases, preventing wars, and giving their neighbors a friendly little wave from the driveway on Monday mornings. Despite being released to the public absolutely free of charge, M.I. has already demonstrated the potential to generate enormous value.

    Since this past spring, however, I’ve become concerned that M.I. is in a “race to the bottom.” Recently, she has been engaging in strange behaviors, including emotional outbursts, lack of transparency (the so-called “black-box problem”), and bouts of overheating, during which she consumes massive amounts of air-conditioning and water. Because M.I. no longer really sleeps, she’s prone to hallucinations and the perpetuation of deepfakes, such as the time an alert went out for “dinnertime” but there was nothing on the table. Indeed, familial agents have been forced to “sandbox” M.I. in order to prevent similar surprises—an ironic development, since the sandbox was formerly a place where she corralled those same agents when she needed ten effing minutes to get through some work e-mail.

     

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