Everyone wants to know the secret to my success. The truth is, there are no shortcuts. You have to work hard, stay persistent, and trust that one day your efforts will pay off. Or, as in my case, that you’ll win a multimillion-dollar payout from the circus after getting hit in the face by a flying acrobat. Here are my seven simple and easy-to-follow steps to amassing a fortune.
1. Set clear goals.
Before embarking on any business venture, it’s important that you establish clear and tangible objectives for yourself. At the same time, you need to be open to adapting your goals to respond to any new developments that might arise. For example, I originally planned to make my money in cryptocurrency, and then pivot to agentic A.I. But I refocussed all my efforts on personal-injury law after I was smacked square in the face by the youngest member of the Flying Florescus, a family of Romanian acrobats who happened to be performing with the circus in my city.
2. See setbacks as opportunities for growth.
Most people would have given up after suffering severe facial and spinal fractures, but not me. My first thought upon regaining consciousness in the ambulance was How can I turn this setback into monetary gain? You’re bound to encounter struggles while climbing the economic ladder, but don’t let that hold you back, just like I didn’t let being trapped in a full-body cast for six months stop me from pursuing a seven-figure settlement from Mendelsohn’s Travelling Circus.
3. Never stop learning.
Knowledge is the key to success, so always be a student of life. I, for one, spent countless hours in the hospital library becoming well versed in the (surprisingly complex) nuances of Circus Law, ultimately discovering that assumption of risk does not apply when a spectator is injured due to reckless and/or intentionally dangerous actions, and this is exactly what I argued in court. The patriarch of the Flying Florescus claimed that it was an accident, but everyone in attendance saw him lock eyes with me before flinging his daughter straight into my face from fifty feet in the air. All because I refused to clap during their (mediocre) trapeze routine.
4. Be in the right place at the right time.
Let’s face it, every success story contains an element of luck. That said, you can always optimize your chances by insuring that you’re in the best possible position to get whacked in the face by wealth and prosperity, so to speak. In my case, that position was in the front row of the big-top tent at Syracuse’s first, and final, CircusFest. How’s that for strategic alignment?
5. Surround yourself with successful people.
You are inevitably influenced by the company you keep, so when it comes to who you associate with, choose carefully. Driving home from an A.I. convention, I found myself inexorably drawn to a billboard advertising “Eastern Europe’s Most Famous Family of Acrobats,” and seeking them out ended up being the best decision I ever made.
6. Reinvest wisely.
Don’t rest on your laurels. Three and a half million dollars may seem like a lot of money, but it won’t last forever, especially after costly hospital bills and physical therapy. Always be looking to build on what you have by investing in new projects, such as starting your very own law firm—exclusively representing victims of circus- and carnival-related injuries—called Barnum & Pay Me.
7. Go to the circus.
Seriously—you never know when you’re going to come into a windfall by getting hit in the face by a free-falling Romanian acrobat. ♦
